“You remember some bedrooms you have slept in. There are bedrooms you like to remember and others you would like to forget.” -Carl Sandburg

Photo by Chastity Cortijo on Unsplash We all want to be successful (and remembered) in whatever it is that we are into and in all the things that we enjoy. A lot of us strive on what it means to be successful and we work our hardest to try to get there.

However, most of the time, we don’t put in that kind of effort in our relationships with our lovers. When we start to do this, we lose focus on what we really need and if you’re like me, what you need is connection, intimacy, and healthy attachment that is stimulated from sexual energy.

However, things like this just don’t automatically come easy for everyone, so I want to give you some information about how to make your place, and specifically, your bedroom the place where you are bound for sexual success. Once you do this, this can help stimulate you and give you motivation to provide success in other areas of your life!

1) Tidy up!

I know this should go without saying, but as I teach in my seduction class, it’s vital that you keep your room tidy with everything in its place. Keeping your bedroom tidy helps keep the focus on you, so you can do your best into being the best version of your sexual self. The less distractions, the better for you.

2) Keep the lube & toys handy.

If you’re going to set your bedroom up for sexual success, then you need to have the lube and toys in reachable distance. Whether they are in a drawer next to your bed or promptly on a shelf on the wall of your room, make sure that they are clean, in a beautiful arrangement and ready to go. What this says to your potential lover is that all these things are on the table for our sexual encounter and that they have a choice of objects to interact with.

3) Stay ready.

There’s that saying that if you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready. This is that time. It’s time for you to prep for all the “what ifs” of the situation. Towels or special blankets for cleanup, biodegradable wet wipes, tissues, or anything that you think would be great to have on hand if things get wild. This also includes water to keep hydrated, as well. If you know you are just about to enter a sexual situation, you can really set yourself up for success by emptying your bladder (if you’re not going to be engaging in pee play) and/or using a lube shooter to inject in the vagina or anus so that you’re already ready for what’s about to go down (and if it’s them with their mouth on your genitals, flavors are fun, too!).

4) Set the mood.

You want to make sure that the lighting is dim, not off. If you have a visual lover, they will want to see you in action, so having the lights dim and having some candles to display a romantic mood (and maybe smell good!) are surefire ways to enhance the romance. If you have a lover that needs music, make sure that you have a special playlist that you made just for them. This is perfect if you have the Google Assistant/Alexa/Siri on demand to your playlists. Believe me, it’s an impressive moment when you say “Hey Google, play [lover’s] playlist on Spotify. That means that you actually took the time to make the list and put the songs that they love and enjoy on that list for your sex session.

5) Have a plan.

Although a lot of us like spontaneity, sometimes, it’s better when you have a plan in your head that you’d like to execute. And yes, it’s good to have goals, but it’s more important to have fun, so having a plan is great, but it’s more important to have fun and experience the pleasure that is happening! Being present is one of the sexiest things you could be doing, so make sure that you eliminate all sources of distractions or stress.

Now, this is the time to take your bedroom inventory. Is it tidy? Have you eliminated all sources of clutter and have made sure that everything is in its proper place? Are the lube and toys within reach? Is everything clean and ready to go? Are towels/tissues and other clean up materials nearby and sexily concealed or displayed? Are the candles and lights ready? Have you tested your playlist ahead of time to make sure your assistant knows which playlist it is? Do you have your Plan A and Plan B in place?

Having all this done is going to bring you an amazing amount of confidence when it comes to your bedroom because you will know where everything is and feel a tremendous amount of readiness. You can look at your bedroom and think-

[In my Marie Kondo voice] Does it bring you joy?

If it brings you joy and puts a giant smile on your face, you are definitely set up for sexual success when it comes to your bedroom!

Cheers to your sexual success!

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